My longtime readers know that the subject that most fascinates me is learning about us, as human beings. Our aspirations, our endeavors, our emotions, our motivations, our challenges is what I study and usually write about with a focus on how we can create a better tomorrow for ourselves, our loved ones, and the world around us. The subject of this article is no different except in that rather than based on extensive research, it only discusses the emotions delineated in a story.
The story I discuss here is titled “Family Happiness.” Originally written by Leo Tolstoy, the story narrates the life of a young Russian girl, Màsha, starting at the age of seventeen and continuing through her mid-life, presumably when she is in her late forties to early fifties. Resplendent in description, without any big words or jargon, it held my rapt attention until I finished the story. The story fascinated me to such an extent that I am just not able to resist sharing my perspectives with you all, my dear, loyal readers.
In “Family Happiness” Tolstoy elucidates 4 stages in a young woman’s life, which I may describe as follows:
The first stage is of anticipation and hope. Beginning somewhere in their mid-teens, women begin dreaming of their ideal life partner, the perfect person with whom they believe they will find a life of eternal bliss and happiness.
The second stage begins when they find the partner they have been seeking. In this stage, life is blissful and they feel euphoric. The air around them is always fragrant and even the hoarse caws of crows sound melodious.
The third stage is the assessment stage. The euphoria begins to wane and they evaluate their life partner, the person who could never do anything wrong. Doubts begin to enter their mind. This stage is filled with disappointments and a feeling of remorse begins to set-in.
The final stage is of resignation and surrender to fate. In this stage, they convince themselves that their life partner is not the perfect person after all. They made a mistake and blame it on fate. Life becomes a drudgery, bereft of any charm or pleasure.
The story, set in circa 1859, was written over 150 years ago but the emotions Tolstoy describes are evident even today. And in all likelihood, they will endure for hundreds of years from now. Times change, circumstances change, environments change but the quintessential human emotions remain the same, more or less.
I have titled this article “The Story of All Women” only because the story is narrated from the perspective of a woman. It could very well also be the story of all men though, I suspect, the emotions expressed could be somewhat different. John Gray, in his book “Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus” convincingly proves that men and women differ in their communication styles, have different emotional needs, and also think and behave differently. To clarify, I am NOT suggesting that men are in any way superior to women because being different does not mean being right. To clarify further, I also do not agree with everything that John Gray has said in his book.
My goal in writing this article was not to review the story but only to share my perspectives. I also wanted to bring to your attention how a skillfully written prose can have so much depth and can convey so much in a few words. In less than 100 pages, Tolstoy has very lucidly narrated some of the vagaries of human nature. On the dark side, while I did derive much pleasure reading the story, there were moments when I was disappointed also. A couple of times, I got the impression that Tolstoy does not have much respect for women. Certain sentences seemed to be derogatory of women, which I found unpleasant and highly deplorable. Also, at least in this story, Tolstoy adopts a rather narrow definition of a family, comprising of only a husband and wife. The only other major character is Màsha’s governess. Children are briefly mentioned towards the end of the story and are their characterization is insignificant. If I had to opine on Tolstoy, I would say I have great admiration for Tolstoy the writer, but not Tolstoy the person.
Finally, if this article sparks an urge in you to read the story and/or engage in a discussion (which I would welcome wholeheartedly), I would recommend that you read the story in the edition pictured here, published by HarperCollins. Tolstoy wrote in Russian and his works have been translated into English by different translators. Very likely, different translators have translated differently and other editions could be better or worse than this. In the interest of full disclosure, I do not have any arrangements with either the publisher or any bookseller so no monetary benefits will accrue to me. All I am interested in understanding your perspective and the opportunity to engage in a meaningful, learning experience. That, I believe, is the surest way to learn, widen our perspectives, and appreciate differences of opinion.