Sweaty palms, trembling legs, perspiration on our scalp and behind the ears, palpitation of the heart…are all examples of emotions we may experience when we are under stress or nervous or gripped by anxiety. It used to be that events that induced such emotions in us did not occur frequently, and certainly not every day. We experienced such emotions usually while grappling with junctural events such as a job interview, taking a competitive exam, a first date, or perhaps we found ourselves in a traffic jam and it seemed certain we would miss an important appointment, to name a few. Or we were confronting life-events that typically occur once, or perhaps only a few times in our lives, such as marriage, birth of a child, death of a loved one, or we are on the verge of losing our virginity, which by definition, can happen only once in our lifetime. The intensity with which we experienced the symptoms also were not equal but predicated upon how much significance we attached to an event and the probabilities of it reoccurring and other factors.
In the last few years, however, we experience such stress-inducing events on a daily basis, actually, every few minutes, maybe every few seconds. What is the cause of our experiencing such emotions every few seconds or minutes? The answer lies right in the palms of your hand. If you guessed Smartphones (or cellphones), you are correct! Every time our smartphone alerts us than a new email or a new text message has arrived, or our opponent in a game we may be playing virtually has made a move, our heart pounds, legs tremble, beads of sweat collect on our scalp if we are unable to reach our smartphones instantaneously. So obsessed we have become with such alerts that unless we can attend to the alert instantaneously, we get distracted, are unable to focus on anything, and lose our concentration.
“Our obsession with smartphones is rising to the level where it could be characterized as an anxiety disorder.”
The problem has become so widespread that a new name, Nomophobia, has been proposed to describe the anxiety one feels when out of cellular phone connection. This should not come as a surprise. Deloitte’s Global Telecom Sector practice has been studying the use of cellphones for the past six years. According to the 2016 survey, “Mobile phone usage is up across the board. The time it takes for us to pick up our phones in the morning continues to shrink: more than 40% of consumers check their phones within five minutes of waking up. Likewise we have trouble putting them down, with over 30% of consumers checking their devices five minutes before going to sleep, and half doing so in the middle of the night. All told, we look at our phones approximately 47 times a day, and that number rises to 82 for 18–24 year-olds. Collectively US smartphone users check their phones in the aggregate more than 9 billion times per day.”
Our Changing Social Norms
Much has been written about how people use their phones, their addiction to the device, and the associated health and mental issues that can arise from cellphone usage. The most comprehensive report I found was the Deloitte study referred to earlier and can be accessed here. In this article, my goal is not to recapitulate all the statistics on cellphones use or their effects but discuss how the ubiquity of cellphones and their unrestricted acceptance is changing social norms and our behaviors. I have come across only a few, very few articles discussing this important development in our lives.
Behaviors that were generally considered unacceptable and usually frowned upon in the past are now gaining social acceptance. For example, with quite regularity, we see people at a dinner table ignoring one another, with their attention fixated on their phones. It’s now quite normal to walk into a bus or an airplane or in a hospital’s waiting room and see each person with their head down and their fingers scrolling across the screen without speaking a word or even acknowledging the presence of others. People are seen chatting on their phones even in toilets at airports and other public places, sometime even negotiating business or social deals.
Some of the other behaviors that are changing and slowly but surely gaining social acceptance include the following:
1. Peering at a smartphone during meals, in meetings, while driving, waiting in line at the grocery, basically anywhere and at any time;
2. As a passenger in a car while a friend or family member is at the wheels. Conversations rarely happen among fellow passengers also who are usually family members or friends;
3. Couples go to a restaurant to have a celebration dinner but instead of celebrating and reminiscing about fond memories, either one or both are staring at their phone or tablet;
4. While in a conversation with other people, it used to be that if people did not look into our eyes while talking, we found it difficult to trust them. Under the new rules, this sense of distrust is not felt if people are looking at their phones while talking.
5. The art of conversation is dying a rapid death. Instead of a genuine face-to-face communication where we would get our cues not only from what was being said, but also read body language, listen intently, notice subtle variations in speech tones and actively empathize, we prefer the bland, unemotional way of communicating through cryptic text messages.
The list could run into several pages, but you get the idea. About six months ago, I was visiting with a friend at his home. We had dinner and fortunately, neither of us pulled out our phone at the dinner table. I never do so by the way. But as soon as dinner was over, my friend pulled out his phone and suggested I do the same. I was totally flabbergasted! We were supposedly close friends, meeting after almost 8 years and in my mind, there was a lot of catching up to do, but I guess my friend’s preferences and priorities were different than mine.
In April of 2016, Conan O’Brien published a video on YouTube, “Guiding Hands,” a satirical depiction of how addicted we have become to our cellphones that we need others, guiding hands, to help us even with our everyday activities. This parody is very likely a true portrayal of what our future looks like.
We need to regulate the use of our technology. Technology has to be used to serve its purpose and not enslave us. With mature, otherwise very smart adults unable to regulate themselves, children and teenagers don’t stand a chance. They quickly become addicted to the continual feedback and instant gratification and with every hit of dopamine, their need for the next hit intensifies. We are already at the point where a team of highly skilled neurosurgeons are required to get these devices out of our hands and the problem is only accelerating at a fast pace.
Cellphones are becoming Devices Of [Our] Mass Destruction. Unless we act prudently, and act fast, we are DOOMD (pronounced /du:md/ just as in doomed).
A Note on the Header Graphic: The graphic is a bit extreme because the smartphones are not killing us physically but emotionally, socially, and intellectually. At a loss as to how to depict the death of emotions, I have depicted physical deaths.
Life is Precious…Live Well