I was a caterpillar
I had a dream…
To evolve into a butterfly
And flutter my colorful wings.
Hopping from flower to flower
Pollinating so they could breed even more
And create a beautiful sight.
But none of this happened
My dreams were squashed…
By some hedonistic boys
Who slit me in half
To look me from the inside
Satisfying their evil pleasures
And some momentary delight.

I was a free-swimming larva
I had a dream…
Of finding my way into an oyster
And becoming a lustrous pearl
Someday emerging from the shell
And shining brightly all around.
Adorn a king’s crown
Or be traded by my owner
To feed a thousand mouths.
But none of this happened
My dreams were squashed…
By a wrathful giant whale
Who selfishly swallowed me for lunch
I was razed inside her
And finally expelled from her body
Polluting the waters around.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

A smile…flashed
Did it placate?

A thought…cloaked
Did it conceal?

A touch…caressed
Did it heal?

A hug…enveloped
Did it comfort?

Love…only love
Love which is
selfless, unconditional, genuine
has the power
to soothe
to placate
to conceal
to heal
to comfort

In the last few years, however, we experience such stress-inducing events on a daily basis, actually, every few minutes, maybe every few seconds. What is the cause of our experiencing such emotions every few seconds or minutes? The answer lies right in the palms of your hand. If you guessed Smartphones (or cellphones), you are correct! Every time our smartphone alerts us than a new email or a new text message has arrived, or our opponent in a game we may be playing virtually has made a move, our heart pounds, legs tremble, beads of sweat collect on our scalp if we are unable to reach our smartphones instantaneously. So obsessed we have become with such alerts that unless we can attend to the alert instantaneously, we get distracted, are unable to focus on anything, and lose our concentration.

“Our obsession with smartphones is rising to the level where it could be characterized as an anxiety disorder.”

The problem has become so widespread that a new name, Nomophobia, has been proposed to describe the anxiety one feels when out of cellular phone connection. This should not come as a surprise. Deloitte’s Global Telecom Sector practice has been studying the use of cellphones for the past six years. According to the 2016 survey, “Mobile phone usage is up across the board. The time it takes for us to pick up our phones in the morning continues to shrink: more than 40% of consumers check their phones within five minutes of waking up. Likewise we have trouble putting them down, with over 30% of consumers checking their devices five minutes before going to sleep, and half doing so in the middle of the night. All told, we look at our phones approximately 47 times a day, and that number rises to 82 for 18–24 year-olds. Collectively US smartphone users check their phones in the aggregate more than 9 billion times per day.”

Our Changing Social Norms

Much has been written about how people use their phones, their addiction to the device, and the associated health and mental issues that can arise from cellphone usage. The most comprehensive report I found was the Deloitte study referred to earlier and can be accessed here. In this article, my goal is not to recapitulate all the statistics on cellphones use or their effects but discuss how the ubiquity of cellphones and their unrestricted acceptance is changing social norms and our behaviors. I have come across only a few, very few articles discussing this important development in our lives.

Behaviors that were generally considered unacceptable and usually frowned upon in the past are now gaining social acceptance. For example, with quite regularity, we see people at a dinner table ignoring one another, with their attention fixated on their phones. It’s now quite normal to walk into a bus or an airplane or in a hospital’s waiting room and see each person with their head down and their fingers scrolling across the screen without speaking a word or even acknowledging the presence of others. People are seen chatting on their phones even in toilets at airports and other public places, sometime even negotiating business or social deals.

Some of the other behaviors that are changing and slowly but surely gaining social acceptance include the following:
1. Peering at a smartphone during meals, in meetings, while driving, waiting in line at the grocery, basically anywhere and at any time;

2. As a passenger in a car while a friend or family member is at the wheels. Conversations rarely happen among fellow passengers also who are usually family members or friends;

3. Couples go to a restaurant to have a celebration dinner but instead of celebrating and reminiscing about fond memories, either one or both are staring at their phone or tablet;

4. While in a conversation with other people, it used to be that if people did not look into our eyes while talking, we found it difficult to trust them. Under the new rules, this sense of distrust is not felt if people are looking at their phones while talking.

5. The art of conversation is dying a rapid death. Instead of a genuine face-to-face communication where we would get our cues not only from what was being said, but also read body language, listen intently, notice subtle variations in speech tones and actively empathize, we prefer the bland, unemotional way of communicating through cryptic text messages.

The list could run into several pages, but you get the idea. About six months ago, I was visiting with a friend at his home. We had dinner and fortunately, neither of us pulled out our phone at the dinner table. I never do so by the way. But as soon as dinner was over, my friend pulled out his phone and suggested I do the same. I was totally flabbergasted! We were supposedly close friends, meeting after almost 8 years and in my mind, there was a lot of catching up to do, but I guess my friend’s preferences and priorities were different than mine.

In April of 2016, Conan O’Brien published a video on YouTube, “Guiding Hands,” a satirical depiction of how addicted we have become to our cellphones that we need others, guiding hands, to help us even with our everyday activities. This parody is very likely a true portrayal of what our future looks like.

We need to regulate the use of our technology. Technology has to be used to serve its purpose and not enslave us. With mature, otherwise very smart adults unable to regulate themselves, children and teenagers don’t stand a chance. They quickly become addicted to the continual feedback and instant gratification and with every hit of dopamine, their need for the next hit intensifies. We are already at the point where a team of highly skilled neurosurgeons are required to get these devices out of our hands and the problem is only accelerating at a fast pace.

Cellphones are becoming Devices Of [Our] Mass Destruction. Unless we act prudently, and act fast, we are DOOMD (pronounced /du:md/ just as in doomed).

A Note on the Header Graphic: The graphic is a bit extreme because the smartphones are not killing us physically but emotionally, socially, and intellectually. At a loss as to how to depict the death of emotions, I have depicted physical deaths.

Life is Precious…Live Well

As social animals, we derive our joys, pleasures, and experiences through interactions with other people. Too frequently, we begin conversing with someone and what was intended to be an amiable conversation quickly turns into an argument. We try hard to convince someone that their opinion on a particular issue is shaky. We introduce logic, rationale, and relevant analogies to persuade, but our conversation partner remains resolute, refusing to appreciate our point of view. “How can you say that capitalism motivates people to try harder when all it does it favor the rich and mighty?” The result is that animosity develops between the two and may escalate to hatred and bitterness.

Why does this happen? In short, the answer is because of our deeply entrenched beliefs and values which have firmly implanted themselves in our psyche and when we encounter anything that challenges these beliefs and values, we rebel. Our opinions are often shaped by emotions, past experiences, cognitive biases, and any group(s) we identity with rather than facts or rationale. Psychological research suggests that once we become comfortable with our biases, we refuse to appreciate any perspective which challenges them.

Why Do We Refuse To Accept Facts

Our minds are conditioned to hold onto pre-existing beliefs and convictions, a condition which psychologists call “the illusion of validity.” According to Dr. Daniel Kahneman, “for some of our most important beliefs we have no evidence at all, except that people we love and trust hold these beliefs.” The problem lies in that we adopt our beliefs as undisputable truths. Because of this illusion, we construct a story in our mind which we believe to be true but is not necessarily so. People also succumb to the illusion of validity if the group to which we belong, or a group with which we identify ourselves, hold some beliefs regardless of how valid or absurd they may be. A certain amount of plain old inertia also comes into play. We prefer to deny or deprecate any information that is new or uncomfortable rather than alter our views.

Finding a Solution

How do we find a solution to this emotional tug of war? There is no easy answer to this question. But before proffering a possible solution, I would like to caution that we should never ever consider the other person as adamant, irrational, impractical, or whatever negative attributes may come to our mind. Character assassination only makes matters worse. No approach could be more wrong. We need to realize that in all likelihood, the other person also harbors similar feelings towards us and if there is no mutual respect, the chances of resolving matters simply cease to exist. To clarify, for purposes of this article, we are talking about balanced, reasonable people and not bigots or partisans who may internally realize the absurdity in their beliefs but refuse to acknowledge or admit them since they have a vested interest in supporting a cause or group.

Fortunately for us, research also provides a solution but it requires us to be flexible in our thinking and receptive to contrary opinions, a feat easier preached than embraced.

Rebuilding Burnt Bridges

Ideally, in the first place, bridges should not be burnt. Again, this is easier said than done. By the time we realize that we have burnt bridges, it is usually too late and extremely difficult to rebuild them unless both parties realize their folly and setting aside their egos, get down to the task in earnest.

A first step would be to learn about the early years of the person with whom we desire to resolve conflicts, the time in which their personalities were being formed. The conversation could be around the biggest personal challenge they’ve faced, how they overcame those challenges, and what influence external forces had on them. If we listen carefully without being judgmental, we may get insights into why they behave as they do, making it easier for us to empathize with them.

The second step would be to focus on similarities rather than differences between the two. By focusing on similarities, we begin to relate with people in a positive, healthy way.

The third step is to ask open ended questions. By showing a genuine interest in the other person, and trying to understand the reasons influencing their perspectives, we significantly increase our chances of rebuilding the bridge.

Important to keep in mind that at no time during the process should either person adopt an argumentative style nor show any distrust, contempt, or mockery of the other person’s views either verbally or through body language or facial expressions. Nothing will kill the possibilities of finding a solution faster than disdain for the other person. If despair sets in because the other person just does not agree, the conversation should be adjourned and resumed again when the mind may be less perturbed.

The biggest benefit to having such conversations is that our own thinking may evolve in unexpected ways. We are very likely to gain fresh perspectives which could be very beneficial in future discussions with this person and every other person…and prevent the burning of bridges in the first place.

Limitations

Every conflict resolution process has its limitations. For the process discussed here, some limitations include:

1. This process is only suitable to resolve conflicts between two people and not among a group of people. We tend to think and behave differently in a group setting and the dynamics are very different than when negotiating with a single person;

2. For any strategy to succeed, including this one, it is imperative that both partners have an open mind and empathize with the other. If one is affable but the other remains hostile, it does not work and matters become worse;

3. The process of rebuilding bridges is hard and time consuming. If we believe conflicts can be resolved quickly, we are setting up ourselves for failure. May be wiser to not start the process at all;

4. No strategy or process is guaranteed or fool-proof, including this one. We have to take our cues from the situation and modify our approach as we make progress. This, of course, requires some experience and expertise;

5. One cannot overemphasize the desire to resolve. Too often we believe we have the desire to resolve but in reality we only want to assert, and reassert our viewpoint. With such a mindset if you believe you can resolve…good luck!

Life is Precious…Live Well
Business is Strategy…Play Well

1

the people
who try to steal your wonder
are the same folks
who
let others freely steal theirs
never let go
of your sense of awe
don’t let anyone
close your eyes
keep them always agile
be wary, very wary
of
those who may steal your wonder
because it’s yours
cling to your sweetness
and fully enjoy
the million
beautiful curiosities
of your life
don’t let anything
become mundane
I’m serious
pay close attention
because
all of your experiences
are soaked in magic
the good and the bad
the happy and the sad
the hilarious and the mad
it’s all a gift
some people will
want you to treat your
pulse like it’s boring
it’s anything but
because your life is bathed in stardust

2

every time you
see a little baby
I want you to
fall down the
rabbit hole of
the creator’s divine mastery
and observe
their innocent hearts
twinkle in their eyes
and their curious mind
don’t let a baby pass by you
without becoming bewildered
or by the wonderful oddities of life
babies are the key
to the mysteries
of all our experiences here
acknowledge the portent of existence
embrace the splendor
revel in the moment
to make your life sublime

3

during the times
when your stomach
hurts from laughing
so much with your soul friend
or some another
I urge you to not
let the moment slip by
without first
giving attention to the unappreciated
the hungry and the poor
the underprivileged and the unfortunate
remember
every person is a gift
in the world to fulfill a need
treat all with dignity
and give them the love they seek

4

when your heart
gets broken
as it often will
I am begging you
to count each tear
that rolls down your face
as the blessing that it is
you are crying
because you haven’t
let your heart go numb
you are crying
because you let
yourself be weak
you are crying
because you
are feeling fragile
you are crying
because you are
fighting to stay alive
every tear
is proof
of how incredibly strong you are
be proud of the tears you shed
for each tear is unique
telling your story
drop by beautiful drop

5

someday
you will be kissed tenderly
by a person who recognizes
the ornamental treasures in you
don’t you dare treat
that divine kiss
like anything other than
the strange marvel it is
if you ignore that kiss
and pass it away as ordinary
than everything else in your life
will be drab and dreary

6

every breath you take
is proof
that your life
is a remarkable journey
there never will be
anybody quite like you again
unparalleled
incomparable
unique
there is only one you
unlike anything
that this universe
has ever seen before
be bold
be fearless
be kind
and in everything you do
strive to make history

7

repeating a message
that has been said before
but saying it again
so it sinks forevermore
always help others
be kind to all
and without any reservations
love one and all
but expect nothing in return
no matter how much you give
no matter how much you care
for in return you will get
only brickbats and curse
let me set straight
some fallacies we’ve been taught
kindness begets kindness — it’s a lie
help others and you will be helped — it’s a lie
love and you will be loved — it’s a lie
nevertheless
we should help
and be kind
and be loving
towards all
but protect your own interests
if you compromise yourself
and help someone else
that person will destroy you
and will not feel any remorse

8

someday
perhaps rather soon
our time
with one another will end
we will hold
hands for one last time
and our laughing together
will only be a memory
my advice to you
let those moments
take root inside of you
it will last a thousand lifetimes
and bring you joy
time and time again
let our fleeting moments together
grow like a towering redwood tree
time is relentless
but not stronger than love
honor every second of your life
treat every little
bit of your experience
like the wild phenomenon
that it is
be a vigilant witness
to the magic of everything

9

don’t ever become forgetful
of your dignity
or that
on the day you were born
you brought with you
your fortitude
never take for granted
all that blazes in you
shape your thoughts
structure your life
the future is never preordained
but through passion and perseverance
and by wielding valor and grit
we can radiate
don’t forget
don’t forget
don’t forget
keep marching
onward and forward
keep climbing
higher and higher

10

on those occasions
when you find
yourself watching a sunset
please spend a few seconds
basking
in the last moments of the dying light
take a deep breath
and recall the importance of twilight
regardless of how long or dark the night
blackness will fade
the shadows will wane
the light will return
it always has
it always will
and you will rise
I solemnly promise
you will rise
if you follow
and take to heart
all that is said herein

Be Bold. Always Have a Good Courage. Rise and Shine
With lots and lots of love
Dad

a father
sad it is to say
is often so misjudged
perceived to be
unduly harsh and strict
with nothing but discipline in his heart

it is all folly
it is all illusory
without a smidgen of truth

fathers deeply love their children
every moment they breathe
sometimes more
sometimes less
but there is a difference though
in the love they show
a mother cares more for how the children feel
a father cares more for what they do
a mother wants them safe and secure
a father helps them build their grit and fortitude
a tear moves the mother more
a failing makes a father’s eyes pour
the soul of a father
is filled with joy
when he is convinced
that his children
are ably prepared
and can vanquish
all of life’s frights

a father teaches to walk
and how to ride a bike
he helps you deftly shoot the hoops
and the proper way to talk
and all that is necessary
so children hit their stride

a father may often be
stern during the day
but is so gentle at night
he tucks you in bed
reads stories at bedtime
and kisses you goodnight
he hugs you when you sleep
and makes sure you are at ease

a father’s love
is no less deep
than that of a mother
or whoever you feel
is the most loving person on earth

Be Bold. Always Have a Good Courage. Rise and Shine
With lots and lots of love
Dad

The first rays of the sun just breaking,
My eyes spot a hummingbird,
Chirping, squeaking, and whistling,
As it flutters from flower to flower,
Hovering over a salvia, and then on a petunia,
And on to a bright red hibiscus next,
Relishing the sweet nectars,
Nourishing itself,
Reveling in its freedom,
To do what it pleases,
Concerned not with anything else.

The sun rises higher,
Illuminating the realm around,
Seems it will be a clear bright day!
Will it? I ask myself,
Lately, I have seen dawns,
And then I see dusks,
But no sunshine, no light,
The sky is always overcast.

Inside the house,
As it has been for several years’ past,
It feels foggy, cold, and damp,
And so very lonely,
Nary a trace of warmth,
No one to embrace,
Nor give a comforting hug,
Is it because everyone is asleep?
Or because no one doth care?

Suddenly,
I hear a voice,
Soothing and gentle,
Asking me softly,
And with a lot of loving care,
“What is it my child,
Why do you feel exiled,
And so much deprived?”

I sense a glimmer of hope,
And reply rather meekly,
“My life feels empty,
Barren and unsweet,
A life is no life,
Which is a prisoner to fate,
Sans any true love,
Or someone to caress,
I long for a life full of joys,
And little, if any grief,
Joys are multiplied,
When they are shared,
But grief, I agree,
Should be endured quietly.
I want to share my joys,
And lend a helping hand,
Now and always,
So, I feel pleased.”

“You are not asinine,”
The voice lovingly replied,
“You should know better,
That one can feel lonely,
In solitude and also in a crowd,
It’s all your attitude,
and the chatter in your mind,
The world is what it is,
And such it will ever be.

Blame not the world,
Nor the people around you,
As the cause of your miseries,
’tis the stories you tell yourself,
The tales you conjure,
That cause you distress.

Your thoughts are what shape you,
Change your narrative,
Let not your thoughts hold you hostage,
Discard any tinted glasses,
Then there will be light,
And sunshine around you.

You are the master of your fate,
And the captain of your soul,
Fly like the hummingbird,
Flap your wings in joy,

Your life is beautiful,
And so full of joy,
Appreciate it as such,
You need to untangle,
And you will find blissful joy,”

I thanked her with the bottom of heart,
And changed my tinted glasses,
Yes, life is truly joyous,
It is all within.

Suddenly, we find ourselves locked in our houses and hesitant to step out lest we get infected by the virus. We refrain from visiting family and friends, and on the very few occasions we do, we maintain a distance rather than hugging and kissing them. Gestures of affection and intimacy are now considered unsafe and met with disdain.

While the spread of the coronavirus will be contained at some point, either because a vaccine is developed or the strains die a natural death due to passage of time, it is highly unlikely that our lives will return entirely the way it was prior to the pandemic. Some of the changes ushered into our lives are likely to become permanent.

While the dangers of COVID-19 are real and should not be underestimated, there is another pandemic that has been afflicting societies long before this and there is no evidence that this pandemic will be ever contained. What is worse is that there is absolutely no chance that a vaccine can be developed to combat this pandemic because this is not a disease that can be treated by medication though it could be suppressed for short periods of time, often with detrimental side effects.

Imagine a condition so bad for your health that it:

• increases the likelihood of mortality by 26%;
• affects the health as much as smoking 15 cigarettes a day;
• increases the risk of developing obesity, high blood pressure, coronary heart disease, and stroke;
• expedites the progression of physical and mental frailty;
• destroys cognitive abilities, and accelerates the onset of dementia, depression; and other crippling diseases; and
• hurts the ability to recover from cancer.

(research adapted from the website of “Campaign to End Loneliness,” a UK based non-profit organization

If you think no such condition exists or can ever exist, you are mistaken. This condition is real, exists, and spreading rapidly. This condition is known as loneliness. It’s a pandemic born out of lack of intimacy and touch. The great American writer, Thomas Wolfe, said that “the essence of human tragedy is in loneliness.” While loneliness has been a threat to human lives ever since our existence, COVID-19, and the associated isolation it mandates, has further accelerated the spread of this pandemic.

It’s a pandemic born out of lack of intimacy and touch.

Research on Loneliness: One of the first researchers of the effects of loneliness on our health was Dr. John T. Cacioppo, founder of the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience at the University of Chicago who, together with his colleague Dr. Gary Berntson, are considered to be co-founders of the field of Social Neuroscience, an interdisciplinary field devoted to understanding the relationship between social experiences and biological systems. In 2008, Dr. Cacioppo, with another colleague, Dr. William Patrick, published a book, Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection, the central premise of which is that social cooperation is, in fact, humanity’s defining characteristic. Spending too much time alone, without meaningful interaction with other people, seriously damages a person’s emotional health.

In April of 2017, Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience at Brigham Young University, testifying before the U.S. Senate Committee on Aging, stated that “being connected to others socially is widely considered a fundamental human need — crucial to both well-being and survival. Extreme examples show infants in custodial care who lack human contact fail to thrive and often die, and social isolation or solitary confinement has been used as a form of severe punishment.” Around 2017, Dr. Vivek Murthy, former U.S. Surgeon General, began warning about the health effects of what he calls a “loneliness epidemic” and earlier this year, in April 2020, published his book, Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World. Dr. Murthy begins by highlighting research showing that human beings evolved as “social beings” and isolation is not our natural state. “Humans have survived as a species,” he writes, “not because we have physical advantages like size, strength, or speed, but because of our ability to connect in social groups. We exchange ideas. We coordinate goals. We share information and emotions.” It follows that when we’re not routinely socializing, we feel that something is amiss. Further, he states that “researchers have found three “dimensions” of loneliness: “intimate” (wanting a spouse or confidant), “relational” (seeking close friendships), and “collective” (desiring a community with common interests). To thrive, we need to find the right approach to each of them, and loneliness can result if even one is left unfulfilled.”

Distinction between Loneliness, Social Isolation, and Solitude: Loneliness should not be confused with either “social isolation” or solitude. The difference between loneliness and social isolation was eloquently described by Dr. Carla Perissinotto, a geriatrician and palliative medicine physician at the University of California, San Francisco, who has been researching the health effects of loneliness and isolation in older adults for over 10 years. In her testimony, also to the U.S. Senate Special Committee on Aging on June 11, 2020, she clarified that social isolation relates to the quantifiable numbers of a relationships a person has with other people, whereas loneliness is the subjective feeling of being isolated — or the discrepancy between actual and desired relationships. To interpret, loneliness is a state where an individual desires intimacy and connections with other people but is denied the pleasure.

Social isolation is where an individual, often involuntarily and because of circumstances, avoids the company of other people. Social isolation can also lead to feelings of loneliness, fear of others, loss of confidence, and negative self-esteem. According to Dr. Perissinotto, “being alone doesn’t necessarily mean you’re lonely, nor does being around people mean you’re not.” “Loneliness,” she continues, “is a feeling only the person experiencing it can truly identify.”

Solitude is a deliberate choice people make to spend time alone. People may exclude themselves from social activities and social contact for a brief period of time to either focus on a task, to be free from disturbance, as a time to reflect, or just for the sake of temporary privacy. Paul Tillich, an existentialist philosopher has described loneliness as “the pain of being alone” and solitude as “the glory of being alone.” The Stoic philosopher Epictetus perhaps said it best. His Dissertationes (Book 3, chapter 13) states “the lonely man (eremos) finds himself surrounded by others with whom he cannot establish contact or to whose hostility he is exposed. The solitary man, on the contrary, is alone and therefore ‘can be together with himself’ since men have the capacity of ‘talking with themselves.’ In solitude, in other words, I am ‘by myself,’ together with my self, and therefore two-in-one, whereas in loneliness I am actually one, deserted by all others.”

Steps to Alleviate Loneliness: Before we can solve any problem, we need to acknowledge that the problem exists. And that is the biggest challenge facing loneliness. Dr. Perissinotto says that “There’s a certain amount of stigma attached to any mental illness, but loneliness can be uniquely uncomfortable to talk about. It can feel like a personal failing to admit you don’t have the social network you want, and there’s a tendency for others to blame the victim.” Loneliness, as we have seen earlier, is the lack of connectedness people feel because they are either ignored by others or excluded by others. Thus, the very unfortunate fact is that people who can be instrumental in alleviating loneliness actually perpetuate it, largely because they may have developed an attitude of animosity towards the patient and distance themselves from that person. This is the most often cited cause of creating a feeling of loneliness.

Loneliness, thus, while it cannot be treated chemically, can be alleviated if loved ones change their attitude and create an atmosphere of congeniality. According to Dr. Murthy, “regular people have a vital role to play as individuals in reducing loneliness for themselves and others, in part by greater emphases on kindness and on nurturing relationships with others. The most effective approach then is for loved ones to become aware that it is their attitude that caused the feelings of despair to arise and to begin adopting a more affable attitude. Thereby, they can best help their family and friends rebuild connections. Some psychological interventions, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Behavioral Activation Therapy have also been effective tools in helping lonely people regain a sense of connectedness, at least with themselves if not with others. A sense of connectedness with self itself alleviates the sense of loneliness to a great extent. Dr. Holt-Lunstad says spending time with friends and loved ones is the most reliable remedy for social isolation. “There’s just something about being with others, and particularly others you trust or feel close to, that people require and rely on,” she says. There is also ample research demonstrating that when we are hugged and touched affectionately by others, oxytocin, a hormone, gets released in the brain. Called the hormone of love, it calms the mind, quelling feelings of anxiety, fear, sadness, depression.

Loneliness does not affect just the elderly, the retired, or the unemployed. While these groups of people are most at risk, loneliness can and does affect anyone. A recent survey showed that 34% of millennials (a term used to describe people born between the years 1980 and 1994) said they “always or often” felt lonely. Stay at home orders and lockdowns in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic has only increased the number of people reporting a feeling of loneliness.

Loneliness can no longer be ignored. The increasing incidences of this pandemic is a serious threat to our well-being. To destroy loneliness, the least we can do is abandon our differences, our hostilities, and embrace a life of love, a life of unity, and behave like good family members towards one another. I am committed to this path. Will you join me?

Those who educate children well are more to be honored than they who produce them; for these only gave them life, those the art of living well.

Think about it. If we rise up the corporate ladder, create great amount of wealth, or accumulate gold medals at the expense of our children, have we truly achieved success? If we fail to prepare our children to become good citizens, have we accomplished anything?

Bringing up responsible children requires attention, dedication, and effort. If we only prepare our children to follow structured rules, mark bubbles on standardized tests, lead a mechanical life, and excel at computer games, we have failed, we have failed miserably. We need to prepare them such that they become productive adults, good citizens, and caring individuals. Only when we instill in them such values, will they be able to contribute positively to society.

The development of children has to be done while they are still young, while their personality is malleable, and definitively before they develop habits which can be destructive not only to themselves, but can potentially harm the world. If we want to give a certain shape to iron, the iron has to be poured in the desired shape while it is still in a molten state. Similarly, good habits have to be inculcated while the children are still young. Frederick Douglass, simply but eloquently, said

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.

We may have become successful entrepreneurs, celebrated professionals, or even heads of nations, but if we have failed in bringing up our children well, we have failed, and we have failed spectacularly.

Life is Precious. Live Well©

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Sunset in Seaward

To say the least, the sights in Alaska were breathtaking!  The mountain ranges, lakes, the fjords, and the entire topography is exquisitely magnificent.  Mount Denali, the world’s third highest peak at 20,327 feet above sea level was simply majestic regardless of from where we looked at it.  Contrary to our expectations, the food at local restaurants was among the best we have ever eaten.  Most of all, I was impressed by the simplicity and the helpful nature of Alaskans.  The pace of life was leisurely, with no one in a rush to get anywhere.  Conversations with the locals was pleasant and everyone was so welcoming and accommodative.  In this trip, we covered Anchorage and surrounding areas.  Looking forward to going back and enjoying the Brooks range, Fairbanks, and Juneau.

Kenai Fjords

Mount Denali